See the best in everything..

Over the last week , I am sure everyone noticed, I have been a little quieter than usual. I have one sentence, ” As long as there is modern medicine, never say die.” South African’s reading this may think, ‘That sounds like an odd ever-ready battery advert. For the first time in 3 years I was struck down by a kidney issue and, boy it did put the usual day to day schedule into a tizz, everything I normally juggle easily, the mad morning school rush (mom’s and dad’s out there, you know what I am referring to), making what  I do seem effortless to the outsider, while behind the scenes working until crazy late hours to orchestrate a business run and inter-dependent on people, which is usually  is a feat in itself, nevermind the people.  Operating and remembering what is happening with over 400 people everyday, and which client needs what ,when and still tracking progress, marketing and assisting to make a difference everyday in the lives the people we work with.

Then returning to the late afternoon and switching, as if on autopilot, back to mom mode, getting dinner ready , making sure chores are done, bags are packed for school the next day, and spending time with your family. The bed time story and lights out. But not for you ( Gosh, being a child was always healthier when it came to sleeping patterns). Then its some time out, for you, for your partner, for silence, whichever works. Its at about this point I usually end up working late, really late. Its been a problem since I was young, I have this irratating habit of burning the midnight creativity. I think clearly and the silence, well its golden…Sounds well managed , well run and easy enough right?

Well, last week it all came to a crashing halt as I started to take stock  and was reminded ,as one often one is, of how, when in pain things can change, drastically, immediately, and you can go into a bit of a disorientated state.

However I find looking for the good in the bad a rule of thumb, until proven otherwise.

I was reminded of how amazingly supportive family can be at a time when you think the walls are tumbling down around you, I know for many this is not the case though, it wasn’t for me at one time. However I am blessed with the world’s most amazing guy, and a daughter,angels must have been watching from the word go! So that was the first highlight of the entire situation and that was the first found happy thought.

Then there is modern medicine, what a joy. How lucky are we to be alive at such an amazing time in history where new developments and new cures are occurring on a daily basis across the globe? Without the invention of antibiotics or at least painkillers, life could be a truly different experience. We have a headache, we take a panado; our child has a fall, we apply antiseptics; we now even have the option of prebiotic foods, we don’t even have to think about it! Isn’t Modern medicine a wonder. Well after the last week I can truly say how wonderfully grateful I am for not having to endure the stone age.

The funny thing is that its been helping other people, that got me through, seeing the best in everything and ensuring I persevered in the last week. Today that thought was what got me back on top, and has been since I have been back home.Well that thought, and the people to think  it of, of course. Everyone, including our clients and staff have been amazingly understanding and that has driven me to explore new  found enthusiasm for what Sitters4U does and how we do it! Thank you for the support and let’s make this an amazing month ahead, together!

New Website launched now…

I am ecstatic! Finally, months of work, sleepless nights and barely any social activity finally bears fruit…I am watching as I am typing this, our new website go live. Features include forms for every service, navigation that ensures you know where you are always, and some other wonderful features on our Content Management. Over 200 pages all neatly tucked into their individual spaces and all fully, easily navigable!

Like I said I am ecstatic. Check it out www.sitters4u.co.za

March…Already!?!

So you have probably been wondering, why so quiet lately? Well I have been extremely busy on our updates for Sitters4U’s major website update coming to your PC in what will evidently be no time at all ( seeing how fast the year has moved).

So much has happened, I have spent extensive hours working out all the kinks with our current system and finding what works for our clients. Well apparently what everyone has been loving the most is our application forms and request forms being online, no need for faxing or emailing, unfortunately this is a very expensive update which we will be applying to all of our services soon with new forms online for every service we offer. However this means an increase or a slight change in a number of our policies, the number one being our registration fee for services. It is sad how so many clients have taken advantage of this system over the last year, filling in the form, we find the candidates we have available who are appropriate and interested in the position and we never hear from them again or if we do its months later when all of those staff have already been placed and we need to start from scratch! We need the clients interest as much as they need ours, if they do need it that is. So the saying is true, a few bad apples spoil the lot.. and we will now be requesting an administration fee instead of a registration fee before a client is assisted, how else are we going to afford the convenience our clients crave?

On a lighter note though, its been an amazing hard month for many especially my family and I, we moved homes and our offices all in one go, my daughter finally started swimming (which makes me want to jump up and down and shout “Hooray!!”), we welcomed a number of new staff to our listings and they are working well, and 2 close friends of mine welcomed their new bundles of joy into the world ( a boy and a girl), most of the written updates for the website have been completed (well, now its just the technical side, which apparently could take until the end of March or longer) and even with all this I can say I feel good giving myself a pat on the back for sticking to the Taebo Kick boxing!

Bring on March 2009! Im ready to make this month the best yet! Having stuck to almost all of my New years resolutions thus far is definitely leaving with the sense of accomplishment I have been craving!

Maintaining a good relationship with your Au pair!

This is actually an article I wrote a while ago for our website. You see I have found that no matter how good the au pair is , if the parents aren’t making the time to  maintain the relationship with the au pair there is honestly no way its going to work in the end. Most of us often feel guilty for not having as much time as we would like to have with our kids, its easy to then live without rules and boundaries ( read our article about positive discipline). The au pair is not a replacement for you, she is instead a helper and needs your help and co operation to provide your children with the help you need. SO…

You have been through the interviews, you have asked the questions and found the au pair you have been looking for. Your children love her, she does a starling job. Maintaining this good relationship and a harmonious living space is of the utmost importance. There are always going to be moments when it is difficult to remember tact and compassion when emotions are in control. The question raised then, is how do you tackle difficult situations, how do you give feedback and communicate problems to your au pair whilst maintaining a good relationship with your au pair?

Tackling the issues:

• Take into account how your au pair usually reacts to feedback. Most au pairs tend to view all feedback as criticism and in most cases this is exactly what it has been. Changing this perception is up to you. If she seems to be defensive the minute you start talking, be careful. Don’t abandon dealing with the problem, however, do try to be gentle. It is best not to create an entire list of problems and then try to approach them all in one go. Try to approach one problem at a time, while remembering that any feedback should always be accompanied by constructive praise. Focus on the facts. They are easier to act on and less open to disagreement than vague assumptions. Keep your comments to focusing on behavior rather than personality traits. By explaining the problem and then discussing solutions you can work on together, rather than launching a straight forward attack without offering solutions, doing this will achieve results you desire.
• Is the anguish you are experiencing over an issue really worth it? There is a very easy answer to this question. If you find yourself feeling more concerned about the problem, than the concern you have about talking to her, then it is probably a good idea to speak to her. If not, let it go.
• Always consider your motive for approaching your au pair about a problem. If it is because you are wanting to get something off your chest, you feel like giving her a piece of your mind, or just feel that telling her off once in a while reasserts your authority, then the best reaction is no reaction! On the other hand, if your motives are centered around the welfare of your children, an genuine wish to help your au pair improve in her job or a chance to put right a misunderstanding, are all commendable reasons for giving feedback or bringing up a problem.
• Keep your feedback positive and action based. Once you have made your point and heard her side, move forward and enjoy the improvements. This will allow you to share in the action and monitor what happens next.
• If the problem is a serious one give your nanny a chance to state her case, especially when the problem was brought to your attention by a third party. You have a right bring up these concerns with your au pair and a right to expect progress. It is how you do it that makes the difference!
• There are also some things you can do to maintain a good relationship and you will find that keeping these things in mind will be appreciated and reflected back to you by your au pair:
• If you know you are going to be home late, call your au pair in advance to let her know.
• Always pay your au pairs wages or money owed on time. Your au pair will not be happy if she has to chase after you.
• Try to ensure that your home is clean when the au pair arrives.
• Do not view babysitting as automatic, this is an extra service and the au pair may have her own plans. Inform her as early as possible if you will need someone and ask if she is available.
• Be consistent with both your children and your au pair. She will know she has your support and will feel more confident in dealing with the children.
• Do not expect extra duties not in the contract unless thoroughly discussed and agreed to before dishing out demands.
• Do not talk to your friends about the au pair in front of children, they understand and repeat.
• Try to be sympathetic when your au pair is ill, unfortunately this does happen to everyone on occasion.
• Don’t let your friends and relatives boss her around.
• Ensure that should your au pair work over time, you remember to pay her.
• Give feedback.
• Once again consistency is key, do not expect your au pair to ensure a balanced diet for the children and then you feed them Junk food and Coke. Work together to provide your child or children with the best care possible.

Any relationship takes nurturing and caring, whether with your friends, work colleges and especially your family. The relationship with your au pair deserves the same treatment, if not more so. She is there too help your children reach their full potential in life. You will find that by following these simple guidelines not only will your behavior be reciprocated, but you will never be disappointed, you and your family will reap the rewards she offers.

Bianca Wagener