Au pairs: How to maintain a good relationship with your employer

Sometime ago Sitters4U produced an article for our clients “Maintaining a good relationship with your au pair” which is sent to each and every one of our clients. Many go through this guide and tend to have fewer issues with their au pairs. Others do not and we unfortunately cannot do much about that, except to simply assist as we can when issues arise. We have just loaded a new article to our website, it is a guide that will make your relationship with your employer and your job as an au pair a little easier, more pleasant and long lived.

Click here to read : Au pairs: How to Maintain a good relationship with your Employer

A compliment to make my day!

This came in from a candidate we interviewed yesterday! Welcome to the team Mia! We are looking forward to finding you the position you are looking for!

Here’s the email:

Hi Nicole,

Thank you for a very positive service. I wish I had discovered sitters4u before I went to other agencies.

The interview really made my day!

Regards
Mia Steenkamp

…thank you for the email, it certainly made my day! It doesnt matter if you are a client or a candidate, either way Great service is our middle name!

New Website launched now…

I am ecstatic! Finally, months of work, sleepless nights and barely any social activity finally bears fruit…I am watching as I am typing this, our new website go live. Features include forms for every service, navigation that ensures you know where you are always, and some other wonderful features on our Content Management. Over 200 pages all neatly tucked into their individual spaces and all fully, easily navigable!

Like I said I am ecstatic. Check it out www.sitters4u.co.za

Inspiration, the power of intention

About two years ago I received a piece of paper from a stranger . She looked at me and said, “This will help you”. It was a completely random occurrence that changed my life. I now believe she was definitely a guardian angel or had one working through her. Today I look back and realise how much that piece of paper assisted me, stuck to my fridge and although almost impossible to live up to,  trying to do so, has definitely assisted. I would like to share it with you today, so please take a few moments to view the wise words of the Dalai Lama that changed my attitude and perspective. Perhaps you will glance over it and have a wonderful day, or print it out and make it your Mantra, whatever you do, whether you take it seriously or not, I am positive, that just by reading it, it will assist you in making a great success of your life. It stays in the corner of your mind, hidden and slowly but surely new connections are made in the mind, altering reaction and action alike:

Instructions for Life by The Dalai Lama

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s:
   -  Respect for self,
   -  Respect for others and
   -  Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
    think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

So there it is, I now try to run my life and business according to the wise statements above, and it has assisted me greatly. I hope it will assist you to in all areas of your life.

Maintaining a good relationship with your Au pair!

This is actually an article I wrote a while ago for our website. You see I have found that no matter how good the au pair is , if the parents aren’t making the time to  maintain the relationship with the au pair there is honestly no way its going to work in the end. Most of us often feel guilty for not having as much time as we would like to have with our kids, its easy to then live without rules and boundaries ( read our article about positive discipline). The au pair is not a replacement for you, she is instead a helper and needs your help and co operation to provide your children with the help you need. SO…

You have been through the interviews, you have asked the questions and found the au pair you have been looking for. Your children love her, she does a starling job. Maintaining this good relationship and a harmonious living space is of the utmost importance. There are always going to be moments when it is difficult to remember tact and compassion when emotions are in control. The question raised then, is how do you tackle difficult situations, how do you give feedback and communicate problems to your au pair whilst maintaining a good relationship with your au pair?

Tackling the issues:

• Take into account how your au pair usually reacts to feedback. Most au pairs tend to view all feedback as criticism and in most cases this is exactly what it has been. Changing this perception is up to you. If she seems to be defensive the minute you start talking, be careful. Don’t abandon dealing with the problem, however, do try to be gentle. It is best not to create an entire list of problems and then try to approach them all in one go. Try to approach one problem at a time, while remembering that any feedback should always be accompanied by constructive praise. Focus on the facts. They are easier to act on and less open to disagreement than vague assumptions. Keep your comments to focusing on behavior rather than personality traits. By explaining the problem and then discussing solutions you can work on together, rather than launching a straight forward attack without offering solutions, doing this will achieve results you desire.
• Is the anguish you are experiencing over an issue really worth it? There is a very easy answer to this question. If you find yourself feeling more concerned about the problem, than the concern you have about talking to her, then it is probably a good idea to speak to her. If not, let it go.
• Always consider your motive for approaching your au pair about a problem. If it is because you are wanting to get something off your chest, you feel like giving her a piece of your mind, or just feel that telling her off once in a while reasserts your authority, then the best reaction is no reaction! On the other hand, if your motives are centered around the welfare of your children, an genuine wish to help your au pair improve in her job or a chance to put right a misunderstanding, are all commendable reasons for giving feedback or bringing up a problem.
• Keep your feedback positive and action based. Once you have made your point and heard her side, move forward and enjoy the improvements. This will allow you to share in the action and monitor what happens next.
• If the problem is a serious one give your nanny a chance to state her case, especially when the problem was brought to your attention by a third party. You have a right bring up these concerns with your au pair and a right to expect progress. It is how you do it that makes the difference!
• There are also some things you can do to maintain a good relationship and you will find that keeping these things in mind will be appreciated and reflected back to you by your au pair:
• If you know you are going to be home late, call your au pair in advance to let her know.
• Always pay your au pairs wages or money owed on time. Your au pair will not be happy if she has to chase after you.
• Try to ensure that your home is clean when the au pair arrives.
• Do not view babysitting as automatic, this is an extra service and the au pair may have her own plans. Inform her as early as possible if you will need someone and ask if she is available.
• Be consistent with both your children and your au pair. She will know she has your support and will feel more confident in dealing with the children.
• Do not expect extra duties not in the contract unless thoroughly discussed and agreed to before dishing out demands.
• Do not talk to your friends about the au pair in front of children, they understand and repeat.
• Try to be sympathetic when your au pair is ill, unfortunately this does happen to everyone on occasion.
• Don’t let your friends and relatives boss her around.
• Ensure that should your au pair work over time, you remember to pay her.
• Give feedback.
• Once again consistency is key, do not expect your au pair to ensure a balanced diet for the children and then you feed them Junk food and Coke. Work together to provide your child or children with the best care possible.

Any relationship takes nurturing and caring, whether with your friends, work colleges and especially your family. The relationship with your au pair deserves the same treatment, if not more so. She is there too help your children reach their full potential in life. You will find that by following these simple guidelines not only will your behavior be reciprocated, but you will never be disappointed, you and your family will reap the rewards she offers.

Bianca Wagener